I see you in my crystal ball. Now it’s cloudy…now I’m getting something…it’s gone again…

Read my mind. Go on, have a go. There’s a lot riding on this. The friendship is at stake. Even if you are a little bit psychic (and I personally think a lot of us are) it’s easier to talk than to read minds. It is just more effective.

Confession and disclaimer

To be honest, what would I know. I haven’t been very good at this. Please read my mind, so I won’t have to tell you what I think!  I haven’t actually said this but I have certainly felt it at times.

At least I now understand that no one should have to read my mind. Also my own mind-reading abilities are vastly overrated (in my own skull).

Reality is not nearly as complicated as the stories I spin. I love a good story but I suspect spinning drama (and comedy) should be reserved for writing fiction.

Talking evolved for a reason

Reading each other’s mind is not nearly as effective as talking. While you’re trying to read someone’s mind, you’re using energy which could go into clear communication instead. What do you think? Wow, really?! How interesting.

Back in the Stone Age, people hit each other with clubs over minor disputes. Then some cave kid thought “there’s got to be a better way”. Language took off and clubs were mainly used for hunting. A vegan lifestyle had not yet occurred to anyone. It has not yet occurred to me either.

It’s not their job

It’s no one’s job to read your mind. It’s not your job to read theirs either. Sure, be sensitive to other humans but use actual words to confirm. Otherwise there are a lot of silent stories tangling the airwaves and choking the truth.

Read your own mind

Do you even know want you want? Maybe you just want to feel better… somehow. A lot of us are like that. Work out what you think  and want yourself.  It will be useful information for everyone. Tell people what you want. Ask what they want. No one can meet needs you don’t even know about.

Do it yourself

Take action on what you need for yourself too. Some of what you need will involve other people but a lot of it won’t. Respect yourself enough to take action. You’ll be getting more of what you want without even talking to other primates.

But I want a “yes”

Well bad luck. You might get a Yes,  a No, or a Maybe. That’s not up to you. That’s up to the other person. Tell them what you think. Take a risk. Get information. Know where you stand. Decide what to do with that.

Try words out loud

Too much life-force is spent filling false needs. We all do it. Find out what the real ones are and fill those instead, or don’t, either way. If it works, you stay friends. If it doesn’t you move on.

That’s not an easy process but then skating along the surface and pretending doesn’t work so well either. I think we all want deeper connections. It might be time to get real, ask questions and speak up; gently, if possible.

I’m going to give it a go. I will if you will. Only if you want to. I can’t read your mind. Not really. I can read your soggy tea-leaves and spin wild imaginings. I will create a colourful story but a messy reality.  So I’ll just ask, do you want to talk? No? Hand me a large club.

Advertisements