I’ve been struggling. Fighting with myself. I took on guitar lessons but they’re just not right for me. I’m making progress but the schedule is so rigid I no longer write songs. I took this up to support my songwriting. I am very self disciplined but I don’t like authority. These are military music lessons. Shaming over missed practice is used as motivation. This plainly isn’t right for me. No matter how I look at it, I can’t see it working out. And yet,…I don’t want to quit. I signed up.
At this point, my body is heavy with resentment when I pick up my guitar. I’ve gone from practicing with enthusiasm and dedication to practicing so I won’t get in trouble. I recognise this manipulation and yet I’m still affected by it. Everything in me is screaming “I hate this!”. It certainly doesn’t sound like it’s going to work out!
There’s a reason I have never signed up for boot-camp. I can’t imagine paying someone to yell at me in the early morning. There are those who love that. Masochists maybe? For me, who needs it.
When to quit:
- When it doesn’t support you or your goals
- What you have looks really different from what want
- The deal isn’t right for you and isn’t negotiable
- When the things you do like are less than the things you don’t like
- Someone else’s agenda is running the show
- There’s no love there
Finally, today, I recognised that I must quit these classes. This is not what I want from my music classes. They are working against me. I didn’t sign up for music boot-camp.
How to quit:
- Know what you do want
- Trust yourself
- Support yourself
- Acknowledge differences, thank them, wish them well
- Take a little time out
- Ask “what’s next?”
The wrong thing shows you the right thing
I now know much more clearly what I want from a music lesson. I know how I want it to work. I know that I’m intensely dedicated but I need to allow myself down time or I burn out. My creative animal needs to be engaged or she makes trouble. Big time!
Why quitting isn’t quitting
Quitting is giving up on what you want. If you’re asking “what’s next?” and “what do I really want?” you’re not quitting, you’re actively looking for your own path. You’ll know it when you find it because it may be difficult but you’ll still want to walk it. In fact, staying with the wrong thing is giving up on yourself.
In Courtney Carver’s blog she has a wonderful post called “Say No So You Can Say Yes”. It’s about making choices that serve you. Given that life is often about choices and a trade-off of time and energy, giving up the wrong things gives you the chance to choose the right things. Give up what doesn’t work so you can find and walk your own path.
miss yardley 
I think it’s important for us to set the boundaries of what we are willing to give up and what we are not. Sometimes it can be easy to say that something is not for us just because things gets hard, and then move on to the next thing.
But I get your point. I’ve recently moved on with a few things last year, and I don’t exactly like the fact that my peers might think I’m just like what I mentioned above. Either not being determined at something enough, or just quitting when the going gets tough.
Good article.
I think it is tough to determine whether you’re just quitting or it’s right to stop something. I was moving further away from my own aims rather than closer. You’re right about setting the boundaries yourself. I that also goes for making your own decisions. Peers may not understand them. Sometimes quitting is just part of learning from experience. > Date: Sat, 1 Feb 2014 15:06:24 +0000 > To: taniayardley_@hotmail.com >