I was very tired. I was sooo not in the mood. I wanted to cancel. I’m glad I didn’t. I wanted to quit but I also wanted to get on with it.

It can be hard to know whether to push through or go easy on yourself. Do you listen to your body or to your determination?

I’m laughing at myself. When I drafted this, I was on the side of pushing through. I congratulated myself for turning up. The next day I was sick and miserable. I guess I overdid it.

Here’s what my draft said…

Is it important to you?

Is it a priority or is it optional? Does it matter to you enough to push on through that tiredness?

Are you trying to avoid pain?

Are you just trying to avoid pain and awkwardness? Are you avoiding risk? Are you backing out because it’s hard? If you always go easy on yourself, what will be the result?

Are you honestly exhausted or just uninspired?

If you’re just uninspired it can be good to push through. It can be good to get tough and just do it. It’s about commitment. You said you would turn up for yourself, so you did.

Commitment

What’s important to you? What do you need to do to achieve your aims and enjoy your life? Some things are worth the struggle. Some things are worth getting on with. Some things are worth some sacrifice.

Squirming

Committing to what’s important can be hard. Committing to yourself can be terrifying.

I’m at a writers night. The rule is, 6pm everyone shuts up and just writes. And yet, one young guy just can’t do it. He has to comment, help, comment… He is personable and charming but he’ll do anything to avoid the thoughts in his head. I understand but I’m about to hit him with a blunt object. Be there. Commit to yourself.

It can be hard to know whether to push through or go home. Be honest with yourself. Are you copping out or about to drop?

Ok, that was the draft… so maybe I didn’t know myself. I could have gone home and written for thirty minutes with a cup of tea and then rested. I might have pulled back from exhaustion. My body needed the rest but my soul still loved the commitment to words.

There’s no right way, keep experimenting.

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